Other Whores?

Are you a teaching whore, too? Tell us your story or write a poem about it or a riddle or merely insert an expletive to relieve the pain and pressure, the chapped thighs, etc.

20 responses to “Other Whores?

  1. The end of class has come.
    Put away your straight-edged rulers, your glue in stick or bottle,
    gather up your papers and stow them in your folders or cram them in to the bottom of your filthy backpack brimming with missing homework,
    but leave the drawings of genitals for that is always amusing to me.
    Collect your writing implements, the pens in varied colors, pencils without erasers, the glitter yellow gel pen you keep insisting on using to write even though it is invisible to me.
    Stack the books haphazardly in whatever form may please you even though I have asked repeatedly for you to stack them neatly.
    For you are the youths, energetic (until asked to work), loud (until asked to read out loud), and only my responsibility for 61 more glorious days (not that I am counting).

    +1

  2. My story? Lordy, I have a bunch of them! just read my journal of my rookie year of teaching teenagers with behavior and learning disorders, A Dixie Diary, at http://www.adixiediary.com

    Teach on! Never give up!

  3. teganx7

    The following is absolutely true. I couldn’t make it up. I couldn’t even exaggerate.

    My second year teaching, I was in my class supervising a computer simulation lab. My department chair walked in and gestured me to the door. I went out to the hall, and saw a man there. I had never seen him before. My department chair introduced him to me, and said “Please do anything you can to help him.” My department chair walked away.

    The man said that he was a local resident, and that he was sure that his wife was cheating on him. He was preparing to file divorce proceedings, but since she was a lawyer, he needed proof. He had collected …. “scrapings” from her underwear, and wondered if I would look at them under a microscope.

    No … this happened …. verbatim!

    Not being tenured, and being under orders, I asked him to return at lunch, when the room would be devoid of young people. When the bell rang, I collected a microscope from our biology teacher, and told her why. He arrived, and (wearing two pairs of plastic gloves), used tweezers to extract the “scrapings” from a piece of aluminum foil. I created a wet mount, and tried my best to find anything under the microscope, knowing full well I would find nothing …. our microscopes were no where near powerful enough to see the small (and quite dead) cells he was looking for. I explained this to him, and he thanked me, and he went on his way. I never saw him again.

    About three months later, I was sitting in the department office, when a colleague came in and shut the door. She informed me that this story had taken three months to circulate to the district office, and that they were upset, and were coming over today to investigate. She told me to get on the phone, NOW, and call the superintendent …. tell him exactly what happened. I did that. The superintendent was glad I called. We met later that afternoon, and I repeated the story for both him, the Super. for Staff, and the principal. They reiterated to me that I had not done anything wrong, and that I should have never been put in that position.

    The department chair was demoted, and one of the assistant principals lost his job (he had been a good man to work for …. I never even knew his role in this). I resigned at the end of the year to take a job elsewhere.

    • This is a Movie-of-the-Week. Sorry you had to live it! I wonder why the dept. chair didn’t conduct the “forensics”!? Just sounds like an evil delegation of power….

      • teganx7

        I suspect the assistant principal passed it on to the department chair who thought it was hilarious, who passed it on to me thinking this was too hilarious not to see it out to its conclusion. There was one other untenured teacher, but I was 24, fresh out of college, and she was a 41 year old divorce who would have rightfully told him to shove it. So he went with me, and it ended up costing him.

        The new department chair was a great guy … eventually worked his way up to superintendent, and was really a “student & teacher’s administrator”. So in the end, the school district benefitted greatly.

  4. Teacher? Not exactly… Actually, I’m the chief repairman on the Island of Broken Toys…

  5. Cheap But Not Easy

    The end of class has come.
    Put away your straight-edged rulers, your glue in stick or bottle,
    gather up your papers and stow them in your folders or cram them in to the bottom of your filthy backpack brimming with missing homework,
    but leave the drawings of genitals for that is always amusing to me.
    Collect your writing implements, the pens in varied colors, pencils without erasers, the glitter yellow gel pen you keep insisting on using to write even though it is invisible to me.
    Stack the books haphazardly in whatever form may please you even though I have asked repeatedly for you to stack them neatly.
    For you are the youths, energetic (until asked to work), loud (until asked to read out loud), and only my responsibility for 61 more glorious days (not that I am counting).

    (Props to Walt Whitman)

  6. I am sorry to announce I am not a Teacher. I do not have the patience for that venue. Hat’s off to all of you who face the daily rhetoric of reading, riting, and rithmatic…

    Spread the Humor: charlywalker.wordpress.com

  7. I don’t have a clever limerick, mostly because I teach social studies, but I do love your blog.

  8. Hey there! I love your blog and have added you to my list. I hope you get some hits your way.

  9. edifried edukator

    Teachers ain’t easy to fool and we’re harder to scare,
    We’ve mastered sarcasm and perfected our Fred Jones blank stare,
    Meaningless meetings and lesson plans swallow our time,
    We fulfill all our duties and yield to the standards divine.

    Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be teachers,
    Don’t let ’em read Wong or gulp down their lunch,
    Let ’em be doctors and lawyers and such.
    Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be teachers.
    Cause we’re never at home and we always bemoan,
    Turning our students into test-taking clones.

    (My apologies to Waylon Jennings)

  10. I like a stiff drink between classes
    It keeps me from kicking their asses
    We all get along
    I might sing a song
    Come get ’em, I writing hall passes

    • I writing hall passes all day
      To keep the test-prepping at bay
      I down one more gin
      And turn on my grin
      And send them all out to play!

      (thanks for the inspiration!–by the way, love your blog)

  11. scifilady

    There once was a teacher of science-
    Who loved to leave lesson plans to cha-ince –
    This teacher was not REALLY lazy,
    Just her mind a bit hazy,
    From students leading her on a merry Da-ince!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s