Monthly Archives: May 2011

Anybody reading?

I survived another school year. Who is still reading this blog? What do you want me to write about? Not sure I have much in me now that summer is here, and I’m the kind of gal that needs constant feedback to write. I love writing and I hate it, you know! Comment with your thoughts please and thank you.


Filed under Teaching Whore Press

State education departments say “no” to end-of-year testing

Across the Nation (TWP) 

In response to widespread teacher protests and rallies in support of teachers who have recently been scapegoated, semi-lynched, raked over the black souls of the education department’s policy wankers, and, in general, blamed for bad kids, stupid kids, the economic downfall, the Olson twins, potted meat, and alopecia, teachers have finally gotten school administrators and test-addicted bureaucrats to see the light.

Instead of the annual three to four week onslaught of end-of-instruction tests, schools are now going to get the opportunity to test their students year-round! In an identical statement issued from the education departments of several states at once, the superintendents declared the following:

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Sales of magical teacher gear on the rise

Grand Rapids MI (TWP)

At the Educational Magicurriculum Concepts Factory, account manager Bo North announced that sales of their new line of magical end-of-the-year teacher products have skyrocketed. “We haven’t seen this kind of increase in sales in such a short amount of time since the 80s when Ronald Reagan slashed the education budget, and we sold out of recycled staples in 24 hours,” North said. “Recycling was the best magic we could do at the time.”

The Passing Period Phantom-Producer, even at a pricey $149, has been the company’s best seller in the last week. The Phantom-Producer is a palm device, upon which the teacher places her hand as soon as the bell rings, and she becomes a phantom, invisible to the naked student eye until the bell rings for the next class.

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Teacher appreciation packages well-received

Across America (TWP)

During Teacher Appreciation Week, teachers across the country were honored with numerous gift packages, ranging from the small but special to the large and luxurious. TWP surveyed teachers and found some interesting results of the weeklong marathon of love and mutual respect.

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, 3rd grade teacher at Ross Elementary, Karen Morrison reported that she received a special email from the superintendent of schools which read, “As we close Teacher Appreciation Week, I want to say THANK YOU for all you do for our students! The single most important factor in our success as a school district is the quality teachers and staff we employ! We will continue to move forward and provide opportunities for our students because of you and your efforts! You are making a difference!”

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Filed under Teaching Whore Press