Ft. Worth TX (TWP)
The Greater Ft Worth Public School Circus was temporarily shut-down when a renegade elephant refused to prance at the ringmaster’s whip-call. The elephant, otherwise known as Mrs. Sharpe, the middle school math teacher, trumpeted and trotted out of the ring and crashed through the pavilion doors.
A few students hitched a ride on her back, and no one was injured in the incident, though the Board of Education building had to go to lockdown when piles of elephant poo threatened to destroy the pristine tile hallways.
“I just couldn’t take the commands anymore, the continual barking and whistling, the demands made upon me to perform in asinine and non-productive ways,” said Mrs. Sharpe, as she ate a restorative bowl of peanuts beside the TWP news van.
Biology teacher clown Jethro Higgins, in white-face with a polka-dot purple bow tie and a Charlie Chaplin outfit, said, “The master is the master, but disaster is disaster. If you don’t listen to your crew, out of the coop, they flew!”
Higgins, a failed comedian and poet in another life, honked his tricycle horn and circled a group of tired mastiffs who had not intended to join the protest but were caught in the middle of it when trying to perform their act.
One mastiff, who refused to be named but whose collar read, “Coach Winton,” said, “The damn elephant! She’s never followed the rules! That’s all you gotta do is Press PLAY, follow the rules and get away from the ring and out on the playing field pronto!”
Ft. Worth police temporarily shut down the circus, as they attempted to corral the animals and other performers for their own good and the public’s safety. Two lanes of inbound traffic off of interstate 20 closed while some of the larger animals were coaxed back to a temporary fairgrounds with the promise of chocolate and actual time to eat it.
Ringmaster of the Greater Ft. Worth Public School Circus Billy Parker said, “There’s no excuse for such mutiny. We all have a job to do and their job is to perform as I see fit. If they are unwilling to dance at my command, they can find another big top!”
Parker, who tried to finish the day’s performance with what he had left, a herd of young, fearful horses, one clown nearing retirement, and a pair of declawed tigers, was forced to give up his whip, his source of power, to the Ft. Worth Police Chief.
“As soon as we get the animals’ stories, we’ll return the whip to Ringmaster Parker,” said Chief Arleene Springwater. “But I might keep it a little while and see if he can figure out the better way of training his team,” she added.
“Play fair and be aware. Less whip, less lip, more hear, more cheer!” noted Jethro, as he tooted his tricycle horn.