Teacher finds two dimes in bottom drawer of desk

Port Steven, ALABAMA (TWP)

News spread quickly this week that Mona Richards, a Port Steven Middle School art teacher, had found two dimes in the bottom drawer of her desk. The riches immediately set Richards planning for her retirement.

“This twenty cents helps out a lot after all those thousands I spent getting my master’s degree,” said Richards. She added, “That master’s degree got me a salary increase of $53.27 a year over someone with a bachelor’s degree. With this twenty cents, I’m sure I can pay off that debt in eighteen years.”

Richards was looking for a loose tissue because her entire box had just been used up by a small child with a large nose and sinusitis when she discovered the dimes. At first, she didn’t recognize them for what they were, she said.

 “I thought they were some sort of game token. My check is direct-deposited, and then after the student loan payment comes out, my son’s college tuition, the payment for the graduate school program, and some cash for Kleenex, pencils, paper, soap, and other supplies I have to buy for my classroom, I rarely see such riches.”

 In the Port Steven Middle School teacher’s lounge, Richards was congratulated by her fellow teachers. John Bateman, a coach and history teacher, who said he had been saving up all year for a new pair of pants, said, “It’s not often we find anything useful in our desks. And she hit the mother lode!”

Other teachers noted how they wished they had been so lucky. Math teacher Renee Little said if she were Richards, she would quit her second job stocking vending machines at night throughout the county. “I’ve run my car so ragged, the floorboard’s falling out. I can see the highway underneath my right leg. A possum crawled up through there the other night and gave birth in my back seat.”

 Richards said she did not have immediate plans for the two dimes, but thought she could now at least think of retiring when she was 69 instead of 72. When asked about the recent reports that the state teacher’s retirement system was going broke, Richards said, “They’re not getting my dimes!”

 POSTSCRIPT: Just as this story was going to press, the paper got word that Richards’ two dimes had been stolen when she want to the bathroom between 5th and 6th hours.

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14 Comments

Filed under Teaching Whore Press

14 responses to “Teacher finds two dimes in bottom drawer of desk

  1. LOL I think this happens to writers, too. We put those two dimes toward our self-funded health insurance. Funny, funny stuff!

  2. (rollin on the floor LITERALLY laffin’ my ass off!)

    This is a awesome post! I must be deliriously rich; I found 65 whole cents on the floor of my car.

    This gets you a spot on the blogroll. YOU GO, GURL!~

    dGb!~

  3. Great post. You teachers deserve both more recognition and better pay for the work you do. I have a 10 yr old boy and 13 yr old girl. Their teachers have been absolutely wonderful so far and we are so thankful for their commitment!

  4. Roxy

    I worked with a guy for 20 years that picked up every coin in the commons area that the students wouldn’t bother to bend to. When he retired, he had collected enough dropped snack machine change to buy a rod and reel. Another fish story: I found a dollar in the hallway just before lunch on the day before payday. I stooped and grabbed, but it swam away. Kyle, astute and vile student and best friend of my son, had attached George to a taut line and fished all day on the hunger and desperation of teachers.

  5. Frederika

    You are my new favorite education blog! With you at the podium, we have little to fear. I have been pimping for you all week. I would walk the streets with you any time. LOL

  6. teach

    I just love you!! I have even used my kid’s book order money to tide me over to buy groceries while my check was clearing at the bank to go to the book club. I am going overseas to teach w/in the next 2 years to save some $ so I can buy a house and have some $ to live on when I retire which I really don’t won’t to do until I’m 80 because I love teaching, just not testing all the time and having no $ and very little respect and having to never complain about anything. Thank you for your great stories! You are great! Keep it up.

  7. Sean

    I have been there. I am still under $46,000 with a M.A….Starting teachers my school district make $28,ooo with a B.A. $29,000 with a M.A….And our school board seriously doesn’t understand why we can’t attract new teachers.

    • Sean–how is your new semester going?

      • Sean

        Lovely! I am doing whatever the hell I want! I still am first in in the morning, but now, I leave with the kids. I have not turned in a set of lesson plans, and don’t plan to do so….For the first time, I left campus for lunch. I have 50 personal days I must do something with between now and May, so, I see a bunch of 4 day weeks coming up.

  8. scifilady

    Yep, again you did it! Makes the two cents I found in mydesk just loose change!

  9. Fantastic post as per usual! Hilarious and sadly accurate. Keep up the good work!

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